The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

EMPTYING
19:16 Jun 28 2006
Times Read: 660

what is it with certain people they have changed and not for the good im getting really confused on times with all the confusion and frustration of others that are doing my head in with there problems and not leaving me alone when i got my own and trying to sort them and cant do it cos i get constant annoyance from richard he thinks he know best when he knows shit hes pissing me off and doing my head in he thinks its so easy to sort problems out its not when hes most of peoples problems what s T**T he thinks he can tell me who i should and shouldnt be friends with and i im not taking it and being friends with people that mean alot to me and just cos hes lost hes friends doesnt mean others should suffer i mean come on! he doesnt like it cos i stick up for close friend heidi and for myself and it makes me laugh cos he doesnt like it and i dont care cos im doing what i want to which he doesnt like. Also richards so wrapped up in hes own ass that he doesnt see what he does to annoy others i mean i.e polly gets pissed off with him when we are on duty and when certain people so up its like polly isnt there we joke about it cos we say i am here arent i, i havent disappeard hahaha have i, cos richard totally ignors her when certain people turn up and he goes off with them he has changed alot and its not for the good hes become a right prat and a right numb nuts i wish he would listen to what people say i mwan ive told him over and over again i cant work sundays at the abbey and unyet he still puts me out there its soooooo boring and nothing to do if he likes it so much out there why dont you go out there you T**T and pay me the money yolu owe me as your doing my head in and it was £435 and now with this sat it will be £505 and im taking it no more i will get my money one way or another. Its no wonder my heads messed up when he says one thing and another person says another thing i now can see hes bullshitting and i dont believe him no more and i now can see who my friends and im thankful for there patients and understanding they mean alot to me and never want to lose them as my friends as i have been worrying alot about losing heidi as my friend i hope i get to see her soon and talk and have mess round like we do i miss her loads im feeling better now i got this to empty my thoughts out on and feels thank you so much heidi for getting me on here its been a great help



Damion aka Darkdevil6

song of my feelings
22:23 Jun 23 2006
Times Read: 662

all this talk of getting old its getting me down my low like a cat in bag waiting to drown this time im coming down and i hope your thinking of me as you lay down on your side now the drugs dont work they just make you worse but i know ill see your face again now the drugs dont work they just make you worse but i know ill see your face again now but i know im on a losing streak as past down your street and if you want to show then just let me know and ill sing in your ear again now the drugs dont work they just make you worse but i know i see your face again cos baby oooo oooo ooo oo if heaven calls im coming too just like you said you leave my life im better off dead all this talk of getting old its getting me down my low like a cat in a bag waiting to drown this time im coming down now the drugs dont work they just make you worse bur i know ill se your face again cos baby ooooo oooo ooif heaven calls im coming too just like you said you leave my life im better of dead but if you want to show then just let me know and ill sing in your ear again now the drugs dont work they just make you worse but i know ill see your face again and i know ill see your face again wow doll i know ill see your face again wow doll now im never coming down no more no more no more no more never coming down no more no more no more ooohhhh ohhh ohh never coming down no more no more no more

Why???
23:43 Jun 14 2006
Times Read: 668




im loving this vr thank you heidi for getting me on here its helped me lot to open up more n not hide my deepest fears n thoughts n feelings.



Why am i so worried and scared of the furure thats happening at the moment i worry that close friends im losing evern though there not really going anywhere and i worry i not get to talk or see them evern though im told i will, i worry i wont as all my friends have moved away and not seen them for like a year or more and theres some i miss alot i only have a few left and i dont want to lose them too thats why i have been so scared n worried of lots of things. Change seems to scare me at the minute i worry that i lose heidi and dot n tara and matt and be all alone like i have been before and i hate the feeling it really upsets me ans someone broke me down so much on a dutie i was pulled to one side n broke down crying cos all my fears was brought out and told to me and it hit me like a ton of bricks n its made it better for me though to start to think and get myself sorted not only for me but for close ones i care for im just sorry if i hurt or done wrong i didnt mean too i couldnt see what has and was going on i just want to hug them and let them know it be ok i promise and i hope we can get back the way things used to be. Why am i so worried of things that wont happen when dot and heidi have told me it wont yet i worry why i hate it but i now know evern though there be times like this we will still be friends i just need to try and stop thinking like this its going to be hard but ill do it

a thought?
00:00 Jun 12 2006
Times Read: 671




all of life is a coming home salesman secertary's,coal miners.bee keepers sorwd swallowers, all of us the restless hearts of the world trying to find a way home. Its hard to discribe what i felt like then picture yourself walking for days in a driving snow you dont evern know your walking in circles the heavyness of your legs in the drifts your shouts disappearing into the wind how small you can feel how far home can be. Home the dictionary defines it as both a place of origine and a goal a destanation and the storm the storm was all in my mind as a poet put it in the middle of the journey of my life i found myself in a dark wood for i had lost the right path eventually i would find the right path but in the most unlikely place

scared
16:49 Jun 11 2006
Times Read: 674






well today was a good and bad day good cos i got to see one my best friends heidi which i hadnt see in while which is partly my fault i know and im trying to sort it out and hope to get to talk and meet up soon and it was a bad day cos on duty i was pulled to oneside and richard talked to me as i had 37 missed calls from him n polly as i didnt answer and he talked to me and hit all the buttons i been shutting off and ignoring and scared of and made me cry alot on dutie cos its all true n im scared. He said about im scared of change, and i am i just want it to be like it was and not lose friends and stay like it is i dont want to lose heidi's friendship or tara's or anyone else and be able to be like it has i just dont want it to change n be there for them n help them n stuff and have laugh and hang round. The other thing he said was im scared of being left behind and on the shelf which i am i find everyones few steps ahead of me and when i try i get futher behind and i am :( i just want to be friends with heidi and no more and be able to hang around n go out like we did nothing more i hope we get to soon and it was good to see her today evern though i didnt talk much cos didnt want to rush or push this as she means alot to me as do dot n tara and hope they no that i felt kind of nevrous and didnt know what to say cos didnt want to mess up i dont know why i felt that way i never have before as we always are ok with eachother no matter what unyet i did i dont know why? all i want to do is make it up n go back the way it was and have no confusion between up.

Hate Changes
18:14 Jun 10 2006
Times Read: 679

why am i so confused and hurt and messed up with so many changes things i thought wouldnt change have people have changed too its so confusing and im trying to make sense of it all but cant and the person/persons that make sense for me i not seen in very long time and i feel im losing there friendship and thats the last thing i want as its the only thing i want no more no less yes ok i like hugs but we all need them i not sure how to fix a problem but i cant get to talk to them and its hard cos i miss them too cos dont get to spend much time together like used too and have a laugh theres so many changes and i dont know how to cope or change with them i just dont want to lose contact or stop talking or hanging round driving me crazy :( i miss them and wish patrick richard and bob would stop screwing with my head telling me all these things and saying shit its making me worse and ahhhhh

SOOOO MAD!!!!
15:38 Jun 08 2006
Times Read: 683




why cant you just leave me alone and die all you keep on about is money and do this do that ahhhh your dcoing my head in you think its so easy its not everthing is going to shit and i dont know how to stop it i try but it gets worse and feel im losing when i was winning all you care about is money you owe this give me that god such a bitch no wonder no one comes home no more when you push them away and say stuff god you was never like this when dad was alive just leave me alone and you not got a clue whats going on or anything im not well and you make it so much worse just get out and stay out you pushed me too far this time and you wonder why i dont talk to you when all you do is shout and make everything into a arguement fucksake ahhhhahhhhhhahhhhhh

my belief!!
17:13 Jun 02 2006
Times Read: 686


Take the quiz:
WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?

Theistic/Traditional Satanist
Priding yourself on individuality and honor, you are a true servant of Satan! You retain your devotion even when people mock at your beliefs. To you, Satan is real! Not a concept as defined by the Church of Satan.

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please understand :o(
00:40 Jun 01 2006
Times Read: 659

why is it you try and sort yourself out and to make things better for me and friends and unyet its still not right why cant i express what i mean like others can so easily all i want is for friends to undewrstand and not mis understand me like they do and i want it to go back the way it was or lil bit maybe im trying to make too many people happy but there are ones that i really want to make happy as they mean alot to me and not be angry with me i always been there for them why cant they do the same ill always be there for them no matter what, i just want to sort it all out like ive been trying and yet i notice so called friends ive known for years have changed and not for the good and its taken new friends for me to see this as it was all cloudy im feeling better then i was and starting to get back to myself i think well how i feel anyway please understand i dont want to lose my friends specially new ones that mean alot as i not meet anyone like them they make me laugh and feel happier when im with them i just want to be friends no more i know i been confused and about things but know i see it and all i want to do is make it better and say sorry for some things that i made confused mistakes